The decor solution for those of us who just don’t have a green thumb

For those of us who can’t seem to master the responsibility of plant care, may I introduce you to the next best thing: branch decor—because you can’t kill something that is already dead. 

This low maintenance (no-maintenance) decor idea is just what I needed to populate all of my sad, empty vases. My vases have long been nothing more than a floral coffin, a symbol of the dire fate for anything green that enters my home. 

And too proud to decorate with fake flowers, my home has always lacked the cozy presence of nature.

But alas. I have come across my new favorite idea. Since I am a dirty rotten plant murderer, I was thrilled to come across someone who I am sure is a fellow commiserator. 

This genius productively and immortally (or post-mortally rather) incorporated nature into their home with not a fleeting care about its expiration date. Or when to change the water. Or how to clip the stems. Or any other crippling responsibility that comes equipped with those needy plants.  

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And look how effortlessly it fills the formerly negative space. A dead branch?! In front of your gallery wall???!!

It’s so brilliant! You can’t kill something that’s already dead! And unique! Everyone has flowers. So mainstream. You will surely be the trendsetter of all of your friends.

So for the easiest DIY EVER:

  • Find a vase that is inevitably doomed to emptiness due to incompetent plant care.
  • Spend the afternoon (8 minutes tops) peacefully pillaging the forest for the artsiest, most already dead branch you can find.
  • Optional: Add useless but decorative water for irony. 
  • Pop your branch in your vase in a way that subtly channels your new decor personality: minimalist, earthy, rustic, conservationist.
  •  Invite houseguests over to marvel at your unconventional decorative creativity. 
  • Definitely go into detail about how authentic and resourceful you were to explore real nature for your decorative accents.
  • Definitely don’t tell them that you actually got it on sale at Homegoods.


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